Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Did Santa Buy My Toys from Toys R Us?

When I grew up, in my family we follow Dutch tradition on Christmas. Instead of calling him Santa Claus, we called him Sinterklass; and instead of waiting for the gifts on Dec 25th, it's Dec 5th. And instead of bribing Santa with cookies under the Christmas tree, we bribe his reindeers instead with grass on our shoes that we place outside our home!

But now with my son grew up in US and Canada, I was facing a dilemma at which customs to follow. So I compromise it! For the past 3 years, I taught my son to put grass on his shoes AND put cookies on a plate under the Christmas tree.

On the first year, my son was only 3 years old and he can’t even write. So for his letter to Santa, I asked him to draw. Since that year he wanted to have a train set. I asked Kai Kai to draw a train but he couldn’t, so he just drew the train track. I guess that’s good enough for now. Then he cut some grass for his shoes and place so many cookies on the plate for Santa that it took his mom, his grandpa, his grandma, and his dad to finish the cookies so that it looks like Santa eat them up!

What funny about that year (2003) was that my husband drew very tiny foot prints on the fire place and told him that those foot prints belong to Santa! My son truly believe that and he think Santa is so amazing because he can turn himself small to pass through the chimney but then he can change to his original size when he is already in the room.

On 2004 Christmas, I made my son wrote a letter to Santa. It took several tries but he manages to write a very nice letter to Santa. That year, he wanted a Rescue Hero toys. It was a disaster because when he started playing with the toy he decides he did not like it after all! The problem was false advertising. On the box the Rescue Hero toys looks nicer and more complete than what is inside the box. It turned out that wasn’t true. In order for the toy to look as nice as the picture on the box, we need to buy so many more toys! So that year we ended up returning the expensive Rescue Hero Toy ( I think it cost more that $ 100 ) with cheaper toy but my son definitely loves it.

Then for this year, my son wants a Monster truck toy that he can customize it himself by changing the tires from Monster tires to smaller tires. So first I took him to Toys R Us to pick what kind of toy he wants. Then he wrote his letter to Santa based on that toy.

5 days before Christmas, my son use an empty tissue box to make a home-made car for a gift for Santa! I thought that was so sweet of him to give Santa a surprise under the tree! My cousin Eliza said she never heard a child who wants to make a home-made gift for Santa before, usually they just waiting to get gifts from Santa only.

The night before Christmas, Kai Kai first get a plate for Santa’s cookies. I learn from my past experience that he tend to give too many cookies to Santa. So I told him to only put 2 cookies on the plate. I said “ Kai Kai put just 2 cookies on that plate, we don’t want to super size Santa right?”…(we just watch the documentary “Super size Me” on TV )…But KK said, “ But Santa is already FAT! “…. I answer him back “Precisely!”.; so at the end Kai Kai really only give Santa 2 cookies on the plate.

Then he went outside to the garden to cut some grass with his little scissor. He put them carefully inside his cleanest shoes. He wanted to put some more but Richard told him not to. He thinks it’s enough. But then Kai Kai said “ But Dad, Santa has 2 reindeers so I need to get more grass! “…my husband made a mistake of correcting him…he said “ Santa has 8 reindeers, not 2! “…Big mistake….!!!! You can imagine what happen after that right????

So when my son finally sleeps, I went downstairs to throw the grass back to the front yard first. I did it in the dark because I am not sure if my son already sleeps or not. I told you this for a reason that you will find out why later on. Then when I want to put the cookies back to the cookie box, I thought… wait a minute…I can’t do that…Why? Because the cookies was wrapped individually in a plastic wrap and in order to make it more believable that Santa truly eat them, I have to eat the cookies and left the wrapper on the plate! I am SO glad that he only gives Santa 2 cookies…. Because I don’t like the cookies!!! Plus I am already super size myself!!!

Since I feel bad to throw away the home-made car that he made for Santa… I decide to just leave it there. The car is so nice!

To cover it up, I told Richard to write a thank you letter from Santa to Kai Kai ….

That night, for unknown reason, Richard was sick…sick…sick…and I have to take care of him all night. So that morning, when Kai Kai called us down stairs to see what Santa brought for him, Richard chose to stay on the bed and I was the only one who came down with Kai Kai to take his picture and video tape him as well. Usually we split the tasks.

First thing I heard was my son complaining that the reindeers made a mess with the grass ! I guess I made those mess when I have to do it in the dark last night! I told him that he can’t expect reindeers to eat as neat as human, right?

Then he asked why Santa did not put a bow on the gift? My son has this kind of thinking that when you give someone a nice gift, you should wrap it nicely and put a bow on top of the box! I still remember how many stores I have to go to in order to find a bow big enough for his first Santa gift!!! I thought he outgrow this thinking… I guess not….

And he was disappointed because Santa did not take his gift! Lucky, when I read him the letter from Santa that my husband wrote, he can accept it. I explain to him that Santa is very thankful for his beautiful gift but Santa think it’s better if he keep the gift so he can play with it better than Santa….phew…..

So it’s finally time to unwrap the gift. My son loves to tear his gifts as fast as possible. While I video taping him… I saw a white piece of paper float down to the floor from the gift …. It was the receipt!!!!! Oh my goodness. In my haste to wrap the gift I didn’t notice that the receipt was stuck on the toy’s box! My son saw it and he said “Oh look mama… Santa bought my gift from Toys R Us! Did he owned Toys R Us?”…Oh man… I hate to think that Santa has gone commercialize…Instead of the elves making the toys in North Pole… Santa has gone shopping to Toys R Us!!!

Why…Oh….Why…..even with all my careful preparations… there is not a year go by with a glitch???

Thursday, December 22, 2005


I have been thinking a lot lately ( since I am stuck on bed rest I have plenty of time to think! ).... on how blessed I am by God.

It's almost Christmas now and what a better time to say my thanks to God around this time...

So let me start ...

Thank you God for giving me such a wonderful loving husband....
I just realize how comforting his snore is to me....It reminds me that I am not alone. I am loved by him and he makes me feel safe. I told him this recently. It's always good to show your spouse that you love and appreciate them.

Thank you God for giving me my son ...
The more he grows the more I realize that despite all the things that I have done to raise him to be a good kid, the more I realize that it's all because of You, God! All You!

Thank you God for my daughter, Gabriella ...
Every kick, every punch that she did remind me on how healthy she is. That alone is already a miracle on itself. But deep down, I know she is going to grow up into a wonderful, Godly child.

Thank you God for my health...
Even lying on my bed, I know that everything will be fine and You are busy doing what is good for me. Like usual.

Thank you God for my parents...
There are no better parents than the ones I have right now. They are just perfect in everyway and I admire them so much. They are the one who taught me how to love unconditionally. Just like You, Lord.

Thank you God for my salvation...so I can enjoy my life right now and even after life.

Thank you God for EVERYTHING.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Dear Santa ...

Busy..busy..day for us today. From morning till night time we have lots of things to do today. In the morning Richard has to drop off Kai Kai first to his Chinese school then go to pick up his clothes from the dry cleaner then off we go to have romantic breakfast while Kai Kai still at his class. I really loves to have a moment for ourselves where we sort of "dating" again. We tried a new restaurant today. Boy, they are so cheap! For only $ 9.50 we have 2 noodle soups, my husband's order is more Chinese style while mine is more western style. Then we can still have more order to go with it, I chose waffles and my husband chose 2 eggs ( sunny side-up ) and ham, plus bread. Then we can also order 2 drinks beside the regular hot tea. I ordered hot lemon tea. For some reason since I am pregnant my love to coffee has been replaced with lemon tea. My husband chose a Hong Kong style milk tea. Overall this place is a great place to go. The food is tasty, the choices are a lot, the portion is huge, the service is fast, and the price is unbelivably cheap! I couldn't even finish my order ! Then we went to Toys R us to buy KK's christmas gift but we couldn't find the exact one that he wants so we did not buy it that time.

From there Richard dropped me off at home and he went to pick up Kai Kai from school and go straight to Mount Cypress for another ski lesson. So while I napped at home, Kai Kai had a wonderfull time in the mountain learning how to ski. This time he knows how to turn and how to stop! After skiing, he was so hungry that he finished all the french fries that Richard bought for him there. Then he fell asleep all the way down the mountain.

They pick me up again to go to the mall for dinner and other thing. First we took KK to a hair salon because last week he got the "urge" to cut his own hair! Then after he had his haircut, I sent him to have his photo taken with Santa.

After that, I took him to Toys R us to choose the toy that he wants from Santa. He chose a monster truck that he can customize it himself.

At home, he start writing his letter to Santa, it says...

Dear Santa,
My name is Kai Kai and I am a good boy.
Would you send me a Ford 350 toy?
Thank you Santa

Kai Kai Wu

Thursday, December 15, 2005

School Christmas Party

After missing my son's first ski lesson I am definitely not going to miss this year school Christmas party! My son has been practicing singing at home with some Christmas songs in many different languages/cultures such as French, Spanish, Chinese, India and English. In the past 2 years he has never showed any interest in learning how to sing but this year he show that he is starting to be interested in learning how to sing. So I took a chance of going to his school ( I was suppose to be on bed rest ! )... and guess what he did this year? Exactly the same with his previous 2 years....clowning around and not singing....

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Spanked by God?

As you know, it’s been couple weeks now that I have to stay on bed rest due to too many complications with my pregnancy ( incompetent cervix + placenta previa + placenta procreta ). Because of that I can’t go to church on Sunday. And since I am not going to church…my husband doesn’t feel like going either because he feels weird if we are not going as a family like we always do.

Last week he told me that his 2 ex co-workers are coming from Taiwan to Whistler to ski for only 5 days and they invite him to join them there for a day of skiing. For some reason I had this really bad premonition about this invitation. At first I tried to ignore it, but I can’t. Then I tried to tell my husband about it but he thinks I am over reacting. We ended up arguing about it. No matter how hard I tried to ignore this bad premonition, I failed. So I brought it up again to him the night before but this time I tried to joke about, to make light of what I feel even though inside I felt like shouting at him, forbidding him from going. Jokingly I said “ You better go to Whistler as early morning as possible so you can come home early too… “( I am talking about how bad the road condition is )…Then I add “ I still want to have a husband you know….” (sorry I couldn’t help adding this…)

Beside bad premonition, I also had a bad dream too and I think my husband really doesn’t want to add more stress in my current condition so he did what I asked him to do which is leave as early as possible. He left at 7 AM last Saturday to Whistler.

Just for your information. My husband loves sport and he knows how to roller blade, ski, and snowboarding. He has done all this couple times before easily. In fact, it takes him only one lesson to know how to ski. Learning new sports comes naturally to him. Just like my son who inherit his genes learn to ride his bicycle in 1.5 hr ( I think I post this story in my blog too ).Even my son knows how to ski too now. But something happens ….read on….

Before he left, we prayed together like usual and in my prayer I prayed for his safety when he is on highways to Whistler. I can only think that what ever may caused him harm, most likely will comes from highways because I believe in his ability to ski/snowboard. I am slightly wrong on this…..

The rest of the story comes from my husband ….

He told me that he had no problem what so ever with going to Whistler. It only takes him 1.5 hr to reach Whistler. The weather is fine. The traffic is fine.

Just when he arrived in Whistler and he wears his snowboard boots, he had this really bad feeling that today nothing is going to be right. But off course he ignores it… just like I did.

The first clue came soon enough. When he tried to stand up for the first time with his snowboard on, he fell hard. He tried again, and he fell again. He couldn’t believe it, as if he is a beginner who tries this for the first time. Again… he ignores this clue. After couple tries, he finally able to stand up. Then he called me, I still remember how he sounds on the phone, he sounds shaken up a little bit. He told me that he arrived in Whistler safe and sound but for some reason he said, he couldn’t even stand up on his snowboard. I did not say much to him about it since I have no clue at all about snowboarding ( I am the total opposite from him in sport ). As long as he told me that his trip to Whistler is fine, I think that he will be fine. He also mentions that he felt he needs to come home even earlier than what he already planned.

We talked for few minutes only then he hung up. For some reason again, he felt strongly that he needs to change his cell phone’s speed dial from my name “Yohana” to “Home”. Then he felt strongly to move the small digital camera that he brought with him into his backpack instead of his jacket’s pocket. It’s safer in the backpack. Right after he change the speed dial on his cell phone, his friends showed up and he got distracted. He put his cell phone into his pocket, he felt that he needed to zip up the zipper on his pocket but he did not do it since his friends showed up. Right after that everything going to hell!

I am still confuse too about what happened, but I think he fell down really hard all the way down the hill right in front of his friends who had to chase him and rescue him. I can’t imagine how hard he fell or how far, but he showed me the result of the fall he took. His watch is broken; heck… even the tiny sticker at the back of his watch is stripped off. Then his water bottle disappeared into the cliff His very strong Gortex gloves are rips around the fingers area. His Gortex jacket too. Even his socks too! He banged his head too really hard!

After recovering from his fall, he found out that he lost his water bottle, his cell phone, and both the digital camera and his watch are broken beside the socks, gloves, and jacket.

Yet he still insists on snowboarding since he is already there and this is the only chance for him to meet and snowboarding with his friends.

More clue on what’s to come…

He took the wrong ski lift. He intended to ski on the easier level but he ended up on top of the mountain where even the cloud is below him! And there is no turning back. He knew it if he insist on snowboarding down the mountain, he will die. He took off his snowboard; carry it all the way down the mountain. He told me that the mountain is so steep that even by walking he has to walk zig zag. It took him more than 3 hrs to walk down the mountain!!

Then the first thing he did was calling me from a pay phone to tell me that that his cell phone is missing.

In the meantime while my husband has to face such an ordeal. I am at home with my son. 2 things happen.

One, the first thing that my son told me when he woke up was he wanted to go to church. He knew that today is Sunday and that means Church day. He knew that he hasn’t been to church for few weeks now and he really really wanted to go there today. I told him that I am sorry but I can’t possibly drive him to church since I am on doctor’s order to stay on bed rest. Then he said “Why don’t we use that Children Taxi’s service where the drivers are all mom who drives slowly to drop me off to church and then they can pick me up again? “…Well… few weeks ago when my doctor told me that I need to be on bed rest, I was toying with the idea of using the children taxi service to drive and pick up my son from school but for some reason they never call me back or even reply my fax and at the end, my husband has to drive him to school and pick him up again. So my son actually never rides in that Children Taxi, but that doesn’t deter him from going to church. Going to church is that important to him! I am so proud of him!

Second, one hour before my husband called for the second time. I felt that I need to talk to him to make sure he is ok because I still feel this bad premonition. I rang twice before a girl pick up the phone… It took me a while to understand what she said because I think she has Australian accents or something but I finally understand that she found my husband phone and she is going to leave it with the lost and found department at the guest’s services building at the bottom of the ski lifts. I thanked her for her kindness.

So when my husband called, because I am worried that the lost and found office might be close very soon, I told him to go there right away. I didn’t give him the chance to tell me how his day was.

The lost and found office turns out to be closed exactly 5 minutes before my husband showed up there.

He told me later that he really wanted to go home right after he called but all of a sudden there was these thick fogs hanging around Whistler, so he decided to wait until the fog get better. That was around 5.30 PM. He eventually left Whistler around 7.

He told me all the way home he almost had many… many… car accidents…

He arrived home after 10. It took more than 3 hrs for him to come home. Twice the time it took him to go to Whistler because of the road condition.

I was very surprise when I saw him. He looks so bad. His hair all mess up, his eyes red. And he looks so tired. Then he told me his story, show me his watch, camera, gloves, jacket, and socks….man….we both should have listen to our heart! Sometimes we just plain stupid… ignoring God’s warning that comes in plenty! We had no excuses for our actions. My husband told me also that right after his first fall, he never stop praying to God and he never stop thinking of us….I think that is why he still can come home to his family….

He told me that actually he felt guilty today for choosing to go to ski instead of church. In his heart he knows that he should have gone to church. He put God in second by choosing to go to Whistler. My son was listening to his father’s story too and to make sure not only both of us that learn a lesson here, I told my son like this “See… this is why we need to pray and read bible every day! We need God’s protection in our live all the time!”… Then my son said this loudly “I know! I told you I want to go to church today didn’t I?”…. Out from the mouth of a babe come the truth…..

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Money Matter

Money… money... money... we all needs it. We can't live without Yet ... how many of us truly know about it? If we don't really know about it, why is that? Is it because how our parents educate us on how to manage it or lack of it?

So far, I am comfortable enough to teach my son about God; about manner; about being fair; about morals. But one thing that I am not comfortable is money. Learn on how to teach my son on what money really is and how to use it wisely.

I admit that I wasn't really good about money either... that's part of why I don't feel comfortable enough to lecturing my son about it.

It makes me feel like a hypocrite!

I’ve seen this story:

First, when the parents always tell the kids that they don’t have money (lying). Tell them on how extremely poor they are. When the kids grow up… they will have an unreasonable longing to buy and buy stuff and never let them go no matter how broken/old they become. Or they might become extremely stingy; too scared to let go of their cash. Either way, it’s bad for the children to have this kind of way of managing their money.

They become the slave of money. When the bible says we shouldn’t.

So.. how to teach children to be friend with money without falling into that trap of becoming money’s slaves? Where is the balance?

Second, I’ve heard that Jewish family taught their kids about money by showing them exactly how much money that the family has in their bank account. Then they will discuss about it. If there are people who know the best on how to manage their financial, I bet it’s Jewish. Aren’t they the one who create banking system??? I wonder if their way is right. We know after all that the fear of the unknown is always crippling us. So maybe by taking it out in the open can help us not to fear money so much? Fear of loosing money can really make people did a lot of stupid thing, like burying your money in the ground or under your pillow…. Or just leave your money in the bank and do nothing about it….

How can we teach our children to be able to see that money as a tool? Money is not a magical thing that can buy happiness through shopping spree, or a monster that can bring so much pains into their life.

What are the first steps we have to teach our children about money?

How early should we start teaching them and how honest or open should we tell them about our Financial Statement?

I still do not know the answer to all those questions above.

Right now, I think I am going to focus on teaching my son how to see the connection between money and works. I am starting to teach my son that he has to earn it. Money doesn’t grow on trees that sort of thing.

On his fifth birthday, my aunt gave him a piggy bank. A great idea and I am still thankful for her for giving him this gift.

I have seen that children can learn fast about money can buy things that normally their parents won’t buy for them. Without proper guidance, they can steal. Some parents think that when kids took a penny here and there to buy candy is funny. I don’t. In my opinion stealing is stealing.

So since beginning I told my son that he can’t just take coins from the table and put them into his piggy bank without asking us first, because that’s call stealing. He is welcome to ask us for the money off course. He does this a lot and every time I always asked him “What can you do for me to earn this money? “ Then we start bargaining on the terms. What ever money that he put into his piggy bank, he earns it. It’s completely his money. Some time I do give him rewards in the form of money. But I always tell him that this is a privilege and I don’t want him to think that he always deserve it.

I am scared of raising my children to be parasites to their family or to the society.

Money can be evil in this thing. Many families are being destroyed because of money matters.

I don’t like people who think just because their family/friends help them by giving/loan them money and they think they deserve it just because they are family or good friend. I don’t want my children to be like that. To be ungrateful and always thinking that they deserve it when they don’t even earn it. People like these will bring a lot of pains to the people who know them.

One time, my husband gave my son $ 10 bill. It’s a lot of money for 5 years old. I am fine with that because I think we need to be comfortable holding money. Not to fear them. How many of us say “I never hold this much of cash before! “Or “I don’t know what to do with all my money! “ I think the more comfortable we are with holding large amount of cash, the more we will know what to do with them.

That $ 10 bill that my husband gave to my son is a gift to buy a toy. So I took my son to Toy R Us. Then I tell him that he has 3 choices on what to do with the money. First he can spend it all. Second, he can spend part of it and keep the rest in his piggy bank. Third, he can keep it all in his piggy bank. He chose the second choice. He bought a four dollars toy and keeps the change in his piggy bank. I think he choose wisely.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Missing a Milestone

Since my son was born. I was always be there with him when he did his "first".

I was there when he first trying to speak.

I was there when he took his first step.

I was there on his first day of school.

I was there when he finally know how to ride a bike.

I was there when he can count up to 100.

But since I am confine in my bed right now, for the first time I was force to miss something from his live. His first ski lesson....

I didn't know that I can feel this sad for missing his first ski lesson! It's my first now....to miss something ....

I am thankfull that my husband understand this even though I did not tell him about how I feel. He usually lazy to bring camera or camcorder to record our son's milestones. Usually it was me who do it with my camera. But this time. He brings the camera and the camcorder where ever he goes with our son now. Like going to soccer practice. Or his first and second ski lessons.

So when they came home, Richard will hook up the camcorder into out TV and I can watch all of them while he and Kai Kai explain it to me on what's what.

I feel better after that....

Saturday, November 26, 2005

First Time to Play with Snow This Year

Last week the weather here is really weird. For more than 4 days the whole Vancouver was completely covered by fog. We wait and we wait for the fog to lift up but it seems it's here to stay. So finally we decide bad weather or not, we are going to see the mountain in Mt. Cypress today.

Surprise...surprise....it's true that below the mountain snow level was very foggy. But above that line... it's a sunny day!!! If we knew this before, we would have been to the mountain earlier !

My son really had a blast playing with the snow and his sled. Last winter we bought the sled to late and he only use it 2 times I think.

We did not stay too long there, only about 2 hrs mostly because I am tired easily lately with my pregnancy getting more advance. I did not do anything there, just sit and took some pictures of them.

But hopefully soon I will have more photos to share because my husband is planning to take our son for his first ski lesson. So even though I will on the bed, I will ask my husband to bring this camera with him for taking picture of Kai Kai's first ski lesson !

Soccer !!

Start from 3 weeks ago, my son start to learn to play soccer. It was fun watching him ( off course before I was told by my doctor to stay on bed rest this week ) learn how to play soccer with other kids his age.

Like usual, KK makes new friend fast. His new friend is the boy with David Beckham' hair style.

It was funny watching so many kids running around and nobody knows which direction they suppose to kick their balls to....

Then every few minutes, someone cried because somebody else "stole" their balls... or someone "kick" their shins....etc....I made a new friend as well there, a mother, we both keep count on how many kids cried in one practice each time... hahaha....

Some kids just do not know how to share. They will do anything to prevent anyone from kicking the ball. They will hide the ball behind them at the corner of the room, sit on the ball too if necessary.

But most importantly, KK enjoy running around chasing his ball and kick it as hard as he can !

Thursday, November 24, 2005

My Little Helper

Now that I am in my 28 weeks of pregnancy. My doctor told me that from now on he wants me to be on bed rest at home. I have been dreading this but I understand. It's hard for me to be idle on the bed but at least I am glad that he doesn't sent me to stay on the bed at the hospital like my pregnancy with my son. I will miss my son and my husband so much if I have to stay in the hospital.

It was hard on my husband though, because he has to do everything for us. He has to drive KK to school and pick him up then go back to work again. Then on the way home he still has to stop to buy food ( luckily we live in Richmond where food are cheap and everywhere! ), grocery too. Then at home, he needs to do some cleaning too and give our son a bath. Etc....

And my son... he did his part too to help me out. Without being told, he scrub the sink in my kitchen for me. When he is hungry after coming back from school. He made sandwich on his own. Sometimes he even made for us too and he will bring them to us!

I also let him make his own cookies....

I am glad that he is old enough to understand my situation and to be able to help me out too. He never complaint when he has to entertain himself downstair while I have to be on my bed upstair. When he is hungry and looking for snack he will eat bananas, mandarin oranges, or he will prepare his own sandwich and cereal. Later when his daddy brought home the food, he will eat again with us.

He likes to come to see me too in my room just to let me know that he loves me so much and miss me. Then usually he will tell me about his activity today.

And today after his soccer practice he accompanied Richard to a grocery store. At home he gave me a very cute ginger bread man as a gift because he loves me he said .....

I am so proud of him....

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

More Bad News

Today is my ultrasound day. I made a mistake of going to Women’s Hospital when I was suppose to go to St. Paul Hospital this time. Luckily since I was very early I made it there even though I was late 20 minutes because I couldn’t get a parking spot. FYI, St. Paul is in downtown.

I met the nicest radiologist who did my ultrasound. She is a Canadian born Pilipino. Too bad that the news just getting worse. Since my case is so unusual, she brought in 2 specialists to do the ultrasound as well. They all found out that now the placenta has grown into my bladder. My worst nightmare….. I saw that the placenta already grow into half of the bladder wall. I wonder if the doctor has to cut half of my bladder and have to reconstruct/make a new bladder out of what left of my bladder… how tiny is my bladder going to be? Will I have to go to the bathroom every 4 hrs or less???

I also overheard their conversation about my uterus wall being so thin that almost doesn’t exist… what is this again???? Is bad news never ending????

From the ultrasound room, they sent me straight to have MRI. It’s my first time, and I hope it’s my last. I hate every seconds I have to stay inside that tube! I felt like being confined in a coffin!!!

It’s hard to have to face all this alone. I don’t blame my husband for not being there because he has to work. And beside, even though he can accompany me to the hospital, I will still be alone in that MRI machine. But I was so depress that I kept making mistakes when I drove home.

I am in my 27 weeks right now. It won’t be long before I have to have the surgery. I wonder… with all the bad news, from the placenta growing into my bladder and then the uterus wall being too thin… when will my doctor told me to stay on the bed for the rest of my pregnancy???

I am running out of time… that’s what I feel. I am not finish yet with preparing for the baby. But yet every time I plan on going to a baby store… there seems to be something that prevents me from going. Like bad weather… Sunday is not a good day.. too crowded…etc…. I miss this opportunity of preparing for my son's birth ( I was on bed rest the whole pregnancy )and I don't want to miss it again with my daughter.

I wish my husband can support me more by listening to my worries. So far I think he is in denial because the reality or the risk is too high. He can be a widow by next year with 2 kids to take care.
Tonight I told him what I wish him to do in case I die. I told him to make sure that my daughter will never grow up feeling guilty if I die from childbirth.

Don’t say that I think too much….

My family has been in a Funeral business for 8 generations. I know that death can come unexpectedly. It’s always good be let your love ones knows your will.

About having faith….I don’t think I know too much about it. But one thing I know is that having faith means having enough faith that if God wants to call me back home, He is going to make sure that the people I left behind will be taken care off.

For now… all I can do is begging for God to spare me from this trial. I feel that this trial is too hard to bear. I couldn’t imagine of not being there to raise my children.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


How many of you experiences being annoyed, harassed by other drivers on the road?
I have 3 stories that maybe will entertain you.

First of all I have to tell you that I am a slow driver. Many of my friends say that I drive like a grand mom. I think as long as my family is safe, I don’t really care what people say. I know that I did not break any law by driving carefully right?

The first story is when one day I went to an Asian grocery (Yaohan) with my son. Every time I went into a parking lot, I always say a prayer to God asking for a good parking spot! It works every time! I learn this from my mom. So I got the best spot even though that day the parking lot was crowded. Not surprising, when I want to go home, people are fighting for my spot. One candidate was a young man around 25 yrs old. He wanted my spot badly that he did not even give me enough space to back up my car. I bet you have experience this as well…. I have to maneuver my car again and again because he just so scared that if he gave me too much space, someone else might steal my spot from him! It was so annoying of course for me to have to drive my car back and forth again and again just to get out from my parking spot! I know… I know… maybe some of you think I should just stay in my spot and yell at that man to back off! That’s not my style…. Life is full of stressful things; I don’t need to add more to my life. Anyway… I finally get my car out from my spot. Before I even drive forward to get out from the parking lot, that man make a sharp (very sharp!) turn to enter my spot. In fact he turn so sharp, he did not consider the curb! The next thing all of us (witnesses) saw was, his car got stuck on top of the curb! First we were all puzzled, why his car did not move? Then we realized that it couldn’t!

This man was driving a brand new car, sporty looking car that has a very low ground clearance. And he somehow drove it up the curb and since the curb was just wide enough, it completely supports the bottom of the car. And the more he step on his accelerator, it only spins his tires faster and uselessly without actually moving the car anywhere!!! His car just hanging there on the curb! It was hilarious actually; a lot of people in the parking lots were laughing their heads off! I am not sure how he can bring his car back to the ground again from the curb. I did not stay to see and gloat. I went home…..Thinking how much damage that he did to his new car???? The bottom of his car must be full of scratches or worse….

Second story was when my husband drive me to the mall. Again… we met an impatient young man (30 yrs old maybe) who just have to steal someone else’ parking spot. While my husband was patiently waiting for the car that occupy the spot to back off nicely, right after they left, this man just zoom from behind our car and make a sharp turn to enter our spot! He did it so fast; we did not have time to react but just watched. What funny was… that man drove so fast that he actually crashed the wall of the parking lot right in front of us!!! We never stop laughing that day…..

Third story just happen yesterday. I went to pick up my son from school at 3.30 PM. To get to my son’s school, I have to pass a school area. As you know, the speed limit in that area is only 30 km/h. There was a car behind my car; I did not see the driver well this time, which follow my bumper so closely. Yeah… I bet all of us has experience this right? He really made me nervous because the distance between my bumper and his was maybe only 1 meter!

Since I know I did not do anything wrong and plus I know many times there is a policeman who stay and watch in the school’s parking lot area. I just kept my speed the same. Every time I check my mirror, that car is still so close to my car. The last time I check, the car was far behind my car. I check again and the car is still on the same spot since the last time I look. It turn out that the car was dead. Now the car that was so impatient to push me forward was being honked by 6 other cars! Now who’s nervous???

It’s entertaining when justice come so fast…. Or karma….It’s rare but when it does… savor it till the last drop….

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


It’s been awhile since I update my blog and there is a good reason why. If you happen to read my entry with the title “Who says that making a baby is easy” in my May archive you can see the struggle that I had to face to have children.

To cut the story short, my husband and I decide that we still want to give it one more try. This is our last try; if it fails then we would stop trying for good. After 6 months or more of trying without result, one day I had a very heavy bleeding. It last a whole day. The day after that I went to see our family doctor and he sent me to have a pregnancy test. Then he told me that I am pregnant! Jeez what a way to find out huh?

Then he sent me to have an ultrasound to find out why I bled so much. We got our second surprise there. Based on the ultrasound, they found that I am already in my 9 weeks of pregnancy! 2 months went by without knowing that I am pregnant.

It worries me a lot to find out that there was one month extra in my pregnancy because around that time I took some allergy medication when I had my period or so I thought, it turn out those 5 days period is not a period after all, maybe another episode of bleeding while pregnant.

The next 2 months was very hard on me. I was plague by non-stop headache and neck pain! It really knocked me off my feet. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, nothing! Around this time I went to see my OBGYN and had 2 messages. But nothing helped.

Then all of a sudden, I am ok.

Just when things start to get better, I went to have an ultrasound and the doctor told me that there is a problem with my baby’s bowel. It called Echogenic Bowel. 75% of this case turns out to be nothing at all. But, the other 25% can means a lot. It can mean that the baby will need surgery after being born. It can mean maybe I had an infection when I am pregnant and I don’t necessary need to know when I had the infection. It can mean the baby has Down syndrome or sex chromosome problem. The last was cystic fibrosis.

The 2 that worries me the most are the Down syndrome and the Sex Chromosome problem. The genetic doctor told me that right away we can eliminate the Cystic Fibrosis because my husband and I are Asians. Blood tests that can determine if I have an infection show that the result is negative. I took more blood tests to find the probability that my baby has another Spina bifida, Down syndrome and Trisomy 18. All tests turn out negative. But it doesn’t mean it is 100% sure.

To be more sure, they schedule me for an amniocentesis where a long thin needle is being poke into my uterus to draw a little of my amnio fluid for further testing. This is the second time that I have to do it and I really don’t like it, it’s painful!

Beside the amniocentesis, I also had an ultrasound and the good news is the baby’s bowel shows some improvement!

After waiting for a week, I finally get a phone call from the genetic office that the result of the amniocentesis is excellent. By now I am already in my 22nd weeks of pregnancy. Not a single day went by without I felt scared for my baby.

The good news really makes a different! I finally can take a deep breath. Maybe for the first time I can really enjoy my pregnancy. Well… kind off, because the ultrasound doctors also told me that I had a problem with the placenta being located exactly covering the cervix! But the last time I had a discussion with my OBGYN, he told me this is not going to be a big problem because anyway I am going to have a C-section. It just usually people with this kind of situation is going to loose more blood than normal and he told me that he will schedule me to have my own blood drawn for the surgery 2 times near the surgery day which is Feb 3rd, 2006.

The next 2 weeks feels like heavenly!

Then yesterday on my visit to my OBGYN doctor, he just drops The Bomb! On my last ultrasound visit, the doctors there said that I need to talk to my OBGYN doctor regarding the placenta. I ignore this warning because I thought it was about my placenta being to low and covering the cervix. I was wrong.

Dr. Anderson, my OB, just told me that we have a very serious problem. It’s called Placenta Percreta.

The definition of Placenta Percreta is:
“A placenta that invades the uterine wall. In placenta percreta, the vascular processes of the chorion (the chorionic villi), a fetal membrane that enters into the formation of the placenta, may invade the full thickness of the myometrium. This can cause an incomplete rupture of the uterus. The chorionic villi can go right on through both the myometrium and the outside covering of the uterus (serosa), causing complete and catastrophic rupture of the uterus.”

Translation: the placenta grows deep and infused with the wall of the uterus, in some extreme case it can even go through to the bladder. So when a woman finish delivering their baby, usually the placenta will detach by itself from the uterus wall, but in this case, it can’t since it is already invading the uterus wall or even bladder.

The woman with this kind of condition can actually bleed to death within 60 seconds because when a woman is pregnant, their uterus becomes like a major blood vessel because she grows a baby inside. So when the doctor has to cut the placenta out from the uterus wall, it will bleed so much and so fast. Normal operation for Placenta Percreta takes about 4 hrs to 9 hrs. It depends on how far the placenta grows outside the uterus wall. The reconstruction of the bladder itself can take 4 hrs or more. Dr. Anderson just did a surgery of this severe case 3 months ago on a woman whose last wish before the surgery was “Don’t let me die Doc”….

So now instead of 2 pints of blood, Dr. Anderson wants to have 4 pints of blood. He wishes he can get 5 pints but it’s impossible. So one month before my surgery, every week I will have to donate my own blood for my own surgery.

The irony was….Dr. Anderson never doubts it that the baby’s bowel will turn out to be nothing. All this time I lost my sleep over nothing, and all of a sudden, it’s my own survival that now being questioned.

My husband always called me from his work every time I went to see any doctor. Sometimes he left a message to ask me to call him back. Usually I always call him back except yesterday. I don’t know how to tell him that I may die…..

Later he asked me why I did not call him back. I told him I need to prepare my self on how best to tell him about my condition.

I finally told him last night.

He told me to have faith in God. The worse case that can happen to me is to have a complete hysterectomy. It’s a big possibility according Dr. Anderson, and I already signs the paper that tells him that I allow him to do that.

Now… how am I going to tell my parents? I am their only child…..

Thursday, September 22, 2005


When my son was 4, I enrolled him in one of the classes that being offered in his school. For 10 days he will learn all about popular children stories such as snow white, 3 little pigs, etc.

Beside listening to the stories, they will also do the stories and makes some crafts related to them. Everybody has fun in this class even the teacher, well, until my son start trying to find the hole in her story that is.

I heard about this not from my son's teacher herself but from her assistant.

The story went like this. The teacher was telling the story about the 3 little pigs to the children and they all listened. At the end of the story, she summarized her story by telling the children the merrit about building a house with brick instead of straws and sticks ( woods ). While other children readily agreed with her, my son lift his hand ( a bad sign! ) and said " Well... it's true that a house made from brick is stronger, but the wolf can still blow it up because isn't that the door made from wood ??? "

From what I heard from the assistant, the teacher couldn't contradict my son logic.... poor teacher.....

Saturday, September 17, 2005

About A Boy Who Likes To Talk

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Tony who just love to talk so much. He never stop talking from the time he opens his eyes in the morning till he closes his eyes at night. Even while he is brushing his teeth he still talking! He was too busy talking until he did not hear when his mommy asked him if he prefer fried egg or pancakes for his breakfast. Even after his mom asked him for the third time, he still did not answer his mom so finally his mom made him fried eggs for his breakfast. But Tony hates fried eggs, he loves pancakes, so he told his mom to make him pancakes, but his mom said "It's too late now to make pancakes, just eat the fried eggs and go to school!". Tony only eats a little bit of the fried eggs because he doesn't like the taste.

Every morning, Tony's father will drive him to school, and before they get into the car, his father remind him to bring his lunch box with him. But Tony was too busy talking "bla...bla...bla..bla...bla..." that he did not hear what his father said and he left his lunch box at home.

In the school, Tony never stop talking to his friends and his teachers and because of that he never hear the teacher's stories and he never learn to read or count. All his friends already know how to read and they can count till 100.

When it's time for lunch, all his friends open their lunch boxes and start eating their lunches but Tony forgot to bring his lunch box so he can only drink water from the school's water cooler.

Right after lunch time, the teachers bring all the students outside to play while they are waiting for their parents to pick them up. Since all Tony does everyday is talking, his friends do not want to listen to him because they rather play in the playground instead. But Tony doesn't care, he will talk to the trees if nobody wants to listen to him!

When Tony's father showed up to pick him up, he told Tony not to forget to bring his jacket back but Tony who still busy talking to the tree did not hear him.

At home, Tony's mom told him to take a nap, but while he is on the bed, Tony still talking to his teddy bear until it's time for dinner!

When Tony's mom going to prepare dinner, she asked Tony if he wants her to cook something for him but Tony did not hear her since he is busy talking to his toys! So she made some seafood dish. When it's time for dinner, Tony only eat a little bit of the seafood dish that his mom made because he doesn't really like seafood.

The next day, Tony did exactly the same as yesterday, and he still did that for the next couple days. Until one day he came down with the flu, he has runny nose and sore throat because he never take a nap, he never wears his jacket, and he always eat so little.

For the first time, Tony is not able to talk! He can only listen, nod and shake his head!

In the morning, Tony's mom asked him which one he prefer to eat, pancakes or fried eggs and this time since he couldn't talk, he heard what she said and he nod when she mention pancakes. Tony loves pancakes, so he ate them all!

Then when his father told him to bring his lunch box, since he could not talk, he heard that as well, so for the first time, Tony did not forget to bring his lunch box with him.

In the school, for the first time too Tony listen to his teacher's story and he was surprise because the teacher's story is really fun to listen to. His teacher is telling the students about Pinguins and Tony loves pinguins because they are so cute! Since he coudn't talk, Tony listen and learn how to read and count to 100. He finally able to catch up with his friends!

When it's time to have lunch, Tony ate his lunch together with all his friends and later he even play with them instead of busy talking to the trees!

Tony's father showed up and like usual he told Tony to bring his jacket back home and he did.

At home, he listen to his mom when she told him to take a nap.

When his mom was going to prepare dinner, she asked him to choose what kind of food that he wanted to eat, meatloaf of fish, and he nod his head when she mentioned meatloaf again. That night, Tony ate so much because he loves meatloaf!

Because Tony ate so much , then he wore his jacket, and he took a nap, he recovered from his cold fast. He can start talking again. But Tony also found out that he gain a lot more by listening more. He can eat the food he loves at home! He can enjoy his lunch together with his friends in the school! He never feels too tired again because he nap! He never feels cold anymore because he always remember to bring his jacket home! And surprise...surprise.... he enjoys listening to his teachers' stories and he finally can read his favorite story books on his own!

Sure... Tony still loves to talk....but now, he listens too.....

Most of the night, my husband always tell my son some made up stories before he sleep. Last night, my son asked me to tell him a story. At first my mind was completely blank, but slowly the story just came out little by little.
The inspiration of this story is my son. He LOVES to talk. Since he opens his eyes in the morning until he closes his eyes at night. I called him "TALKANDTALK" sometimes. I used the name Tony because Tony is my son's friend at school who happen to talk as much as my son does so this story did not offend my son and made him defensive. He actually loves this story, he thinks it's so funny and he learn from it. Or at least I think he is.....well....

Saturday, September 10, 2005


When my son was not even 3 years old yet, one day he found a blue ball on our front yard. He went back inside the house and with excitedly he showed me the ball. "Look mama, I found this ball on our front yard!". Since I was busy cooking, I only glanced at him and said, "Well, that's nice!"

My son went back to the front yard to play with the ball while I also went back to my cooking. But after I thought about it, I realized that now is a good time to teach him about respecting other people's stuff. So I called him back. When he came back, I asked him if the ball belong to him and he said no. I told him that the ball must belong to one of the neighbour kids because both of my neighbours have children around 5 to 7 years of age. I asked Kai Kai if one day he accidently lost his ball will he feel sad, and he said yes. I reminded him of the time when he lost his pinguin doll in the park and how sad he was at that time. So I told him to put the ball in open space in our front yard so if the owner saw it, he/she can pick it up. Just like any 2.5 yrs old, my son refused to give that ball back. I thought, well maybe he is just too young and plus I am busy cooking, so I let him played with the ball again.

About 10 minutes later, he ran back to the kitchen with that ball again and he said "Mama... since I found this ball in our yard, that means this ball belong to me now!" Wow.... I believe it does actually, I mean, if you dig your yard and then your found a case of gold, won't that belong to you? What ever you found in your property belong to you right? Even a 2.5 yrs old know that....

I told my son like this,"Well I think you are right that ball belongs to you now, but remember when you lost your pinguin doll and you feel so sad? Just imagine the owner of that ball feeling right now. He must feel sad too, right? Don't you pity him for loosing his precious toy? So I think it is still better if you leave that ball outside for the boy to find it back" But his answer still the same "NO!" And he ran back outside to play.

10 minutes went by and suddenly he burst back to the kitchen. He said "But mama... isn't it his own fault for playing with the ball so carelessly until he lost it?" I guess what he wanted to say was it's the boy's fault for loosing his own ball. Then I answered him back like this "Sure, it's his fault for being not too carefull when he play with his toy, but... how many times have you not carefull with your toys also but somehow I always save your toys? So why don't you do the same to that boy?" My son look at me and without saying anything he went back to play again outside.

Not long after, maybe another 10 - 15 minutes he walk to the kitchen again and said "OK mama, I want to give the ball back to the owner, but which one is the owner? How would I know who I have to give back this ball to?" I looked at his face and his face looks so happy for making the right decision to be a good boy. So I took his hand and we walked to each of our neighbour's front doors and knocked....

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Going To A Blueberries Picking with Kai Kai's School Friends

This summer, I enroll Kai Kai for 3 classes in his Montessori school. Each classes is only for 10 days. The first class was all about Farm. It happen that Kai Kai's school neighbour is a farm house, so almost everyday, the teacher will take them to see one aspect about farm. For example, they took the kids to the corn field, there they learn to differentiate between "female" flowers and the "male" flowers. Next time, they saw the animals like donkeys, sheeps, cows, chickens, bunnies, dogs, horses etc. Then they learn how to make butter on their own by taking turn shaking a bottle of milk into butter that they will enjoy together with the bread that the teacher baked for them right in the school. On the last day, they went to pick raspberries from the farm and together they made raspberries jam that they can take home.

On the second class, it's all about nature. Again, it happen that the school is just next to a trail where they have so many blackberries bushes grow wild there. The teacher ( different teacher this time ) let them pick those wild blackberries and let them eat them right there. Some are sweet and some are so sour. They learn on how to pick the sweet one. They also took some tadpoles from the creek and see how they grow into small frogs. Kai Kai loves them very much. And today at the last day of the third class, they release those frogs back to the creek

Pic: Releasing the frogs back to the creek. Posted by Picasa

The reason why I enroll Kai Kai to those 2 classes is obvious. My son loves nature very much and he absolutely enjoy those 2 classes.

On the third class, it's all about Kids in Kitchen. They learn all about food, eating healthy, and preparing their own meal. On the first day, he learns how to cook Miso Soup and eat it with salad and bread together with his friends. Next time, he made pizza. Then he made jello too. He learn to cook so many dishes every day that when he came home, I don't even need to feed him anymore because he is already full from the food that he and his friends cook together or prepare together.

Pic: Miss Suzanne told the kids to only pick the bluest blueberries. Posted by Picasa

On the last day of his third class, we all went to an organic blueberry farm. The teacher already did some research on which farm is perfect for little children to wandering around on their own and on this particular farm. I think it's now a commercial, more like a family own private farm because they are much smaller and they are fenced so the kids will not get lost. Since this is privately owned, they really care about the quality, that's why they are organic. If that's is not fun enough, while those kids picked their blueberries, some chickens are walking around there too. So between picking the blueberries and chasing chickens those kids are in heaven! That place also have an organic vegetable garden. The kids learn about veggies and herbs a lot in there, but my son pretty much knows them all since I have herbs garden of my own here too. So when they were asked to identify the names of the herbs, my son can answer them all. He loves smelling the mint.

Pic: The kids has to smell then named the herbs. KK excell on this. Posted by Picasa

Pic: KK wants his friend to love the smell of mint like him. Posted by Picasa

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Pic: The kids wants to eat the blueberries right away. Posted by Picasa

At the end when it's time to pay, the grandmom who owned the farm pretty much gives us a big discout. It doesn't matter how much blueberries you pick in a basket that she lend to the kids and even the parents, it's all only cost a dollar for each basket. That was nice of her.... a basket of organic blueberries for a dollar.

Pic: I carried 2 basket of blueberries, my basket and KK's basket, and they cost 2 dollars only! Posted by Picasa