Sunday, November 27, 2005

Missing a Milestone

Since my son was born. I was always be there with him when he did his "first".

I was there when he first trying to speak.

I was there when he took his first step.

I was there on his first day of school.

I was there when he finally know how to ride a bike.

I was there when he can count up to 100.

But since I am confine in my bed right now, for the first time I was force to miss something from his live. His first ski lesson....

I didn't know that I can feel this sad for missing his first ski lesson! It's my first miss something ....

I am thankfull that my husband understand this even though I did not tell him about how I feel. He usually lazy to bring camera or camcorder to record our son's milestones. Usually it was me who do it with my camera. But this time. He brings the camera and the camcorder where ever he goes with our son now. Like going to soccer practice. Or his first and second ski lessons.

So when they came home, Richard will hook up the camcorder into out TV and I can watch all of them while he and Kai Kai explain it to me on what's what.

I feel better after that....

Saturday, November 26, 2005

First Time to Play with Snow This Year

Last week the weather here is really weird. For more than 4 days the whole Vancouver was completely covered by fog. We wait and we wait for the fog to lift up but it seems it's here to stay. So finally we decide bad weather or not, we are going to see the mountain in Mt. Cypress today.'s true that below the mountain snow level was very foggy. But above that line... it's a sunny day!!! If we knew this before, we would have been to the mountain earlier !

My son really had a blast playing with the snow and his sled. Last winter we bought the sled to late and he only use it 2 times I think.

We did not stay too long there, only about 2 hrs mostly because I am tired easily lately with my pregnancy getting more advance. I did not do anything there, just sit and took some pictures of them.

But hopefully soon I will have more photos to share because my husband is planning to take our son for his first ski lesson. So even though I will on the bed, I will ask my husband to bring this camera with him for taking picture of Kai Kai's first ski lesson !

Soccer !!

Start from 3 weeks ago, my son start to learn to play soccer. It was fun watching him ( off course before I was told by my doctor to stay on bed rest this week ) learn how to play soccer with other kids his age.

Like usual, KK makes new friend fast. His new friend is the boy with David Beckham' hair style.

It was funny watching so many kids running around and nobody knows which direction they suppose to kick their balls to....

Then every few minutes, someone cried because somebody else "stole" their balls... or someone "kick" their shins....etc....I made a new friend as well there, a mother, we both keep count on how many kids cried in one practice each time... hahaha....

Some kids just do not know how to share. They will do anything to prevent anyone from kicking the ball. They will hide the ball behind them at the corner of the room, sit on the ball too if necessary.

But most importantly, KK enjoy running around chasing his ball and kick it as hard as he can !

Thursday, November 24, 2005

My Little Helper

Now that I am in my 28 weeks of pregnancy. My doctor told me that from now on he wants me to be on bed rest at home. I have been dreading this but I understand. It's hard for me to be idle on the bed but at least I am glad that he doesn't sent me to stay on the bed at the hospital like my pregnancy with my son. I will miss my son and my husband so much if I have to stay in the hospital.

It was hard on my husband though, because he has to do everything for us. He has to drive KK to school and pick him up then go back to work again. Then on the way home he still has to stop to buy food ( luckily we live in Richmond where food are cheap and everywhere! ), grocery too. Then at home, he needs to do some cleaning too and give our son a bath. Etc....

And my son... he did his part too to help me out. Without being told, he scrub the sink in my kitchen for me. When he is hungry after coming back from school. He made sandwich on his own. Sometimes he even made for us too and he will bring them to us!

I also let him make his own cookies....

I am glad that he is old enough to understand my situation and to be able to help me out too. He never complaint when he has to entertain himself downstair while I have to be on my bed upstair. When he is hungry and looking for snack he will eat bananas, mandarin oranges, or he will prepare his own sandwich and cereal. Later when his daddy brought home the food, he will eat again with us.

He likes to come to see me too in my room just to let me know that he loves me so much and miss me. Then usually he will tell me about his activity today.

And today after his soccer practice he accompanied Richard to a grocery store. At home he gave me a very cute ginger bread man as a gift because he loves me he said .....

I am so proud of him....

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

More Bad News

Today is my ultrasound day. I made a mistake of going to Women’s Hospital when I was suppose to go to St. Paul Hospital this time. Luckily since I was very early I made it there even though I was late 20 minutes because I couldn’t get a parking spot. FYI, St. Paul is in downtown.

I met the nicest radiologist who did my ultrasound. She is a Canadian born Pilipino. Too bad that the news just getting worse. Since my case is so unusual, she brought in 2 specialists to do the ultrasound as well. They all found out that now the placenta has grown into my bladder. My worst nightmare….. I saw that the placenta already grow into half of the bladder wall. I wonder if the doctor has to cut half of my bladder and have to reconstruct/make a new bladder out of what left of my bladder… how tiny is my bladder going to be? Will I have to go to the bathroom every 4 hrs or less???

I also overheard their conversation about my uterus wall being so thin that almost doesn’t exist… what is this again???? Is bad news never ending????

From the ultrasound room, they sent me straight to have MRI. It’s my first time, and I hope it’s my last. I hate every seconds I have to stay inside that tube! I felt like being confined in a coffin!!!

It’s hard to have to face all this alone. I don’t blame my husband for not being there because he has to work. And beside, even though he can accompany me to the hospital, I will still be alone in that MRI machine. But I was so depress that I kept making mistakes when I drove home.

I am in my 27 weeks right now. It won’t be long before I have to have the surgery. I wonder… with all the bad news, from the placenta growing into my bladder and then the uterus wall being too thin… when will my doctor told me to stay on the bed for the rest of my pregnancy???

I am running out of time… that’s what I feel. I am not finish yet with preparing for the baby. But yet every time I plan on going to a baby store… there seems to be something that prevents me from going. Like bad weather… Sunday is not a good day.. too crowded…etc…. I miss this opportunity of preparing for my son's birth ( I was on bed rest the whole pregnancy )and I don't want to miss it again with my daughter.

I wish my husband can support me more by listening to my worries. So far I think he is in denial because the reality or the risk is too high. He can be a widow by next year with 2 kids to take care.
Tonight I told him what I wish him to do in case I die. I told him to make sure that my daughter will never grow up feeling guilty if I die from childbirth.

Don’t say that I think too much….

My family has been in a Funeral business for 8 generations. I know that death can come unexpectedly. It’s always good be let your love ones knows your will.

About having faith….I don’t think I know too much about it. But one thing I know is that having faith means having enough faith that if God wants to call me back home, He is going to make sure that the people I left behind will be taken care off.

For now… all I can do is begging for God to spare me from this trial. I feel that this trial is too hard to bear. I couldn’t imagine of not being there to raise my children.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


How many of you experiences being annoyed, harassed by other drivers on the road?
I have 3 stories that maybe will entertain you.

First of all I have to tell you that I am a slow driver. Many of my friends say that I drive like a grand mom. I think as long as my family is safe, I don’t really care what people say. I know that I did not break any law by driving carefully right?

The first story is when one day I went to an Asian grocery (Yaohan) with my son. Every time I went into a parking lot, I always say a prayer to God asking for a good parking spot! It works every time! I learn this from my mom. So I got the best spot even though that day the parking lot was crowded. Not surprising, when I want to go home, people are fighting for my spot. One candidate was a young man around 25 yrs old. He wanted my spot badly that he did not even give me enough space to back up my car. I bet you have experience this as well…. I have to maneuver my car again and again because he just so scared that if he gave me too much space, someone else might steal my spot from him! It was so annoying of course for me to have to drive my car back and forth again and again just to get out from my parking spot! I know… I know… maybe some of you think I should just stay in my spot and yell at that man to back off! That’s not my style…. Life is full of stressful things; I don’t need to add more to my life. Anyway… I finally get my car out from my spot. Before I even drive forward to get out from the parking lot, that man make a sharp (very sharp!) turn to enter my spot. In fact he turn so sharp, he did not consider the curb! The next thing all of us (witnesses) saw was, his car got stuck on top of the curb! First we were all puzzled, why his car did not move? Then we realized that it couldn’t!

This man was driving a brand new car, sporty looking car that has a very low ground clearance. And he somehow drove it up the curb and since the curb was just wide enough, it completely supports the bottom of the car. And the more he step on his accelerator, it only spins his tires faster and uselessly without actually moving the car anywhere!!! His car just hanging there on the curb! It was hilarious actually; a lot of people in the parking lots were laughing their heads off! I am not sure how he can bring his car back to the ground again from the curb. I did not stay to see and gloat. I went home…..Thinking how much damage that he did to his new car???? The bottom of his car must be full of scratches or worse….

Second story was when my husband drive me to the mall. Again… we met an impatient young man (30 yrs old maybe) who just have to steal someone else’ parking spot. While my husband was patiently waiting for the car that occupy the spot to back off nicely, right after they left, this man just zoom from behind our car and make a sharp turn to enter our spot! He did it so fast; we did not have time to react but just watched. What funny was… that man drove so fast that he actually crashed the wall of the parking lot right in front of us!!! We never stop laughing that day…..

Third story just happen yesterday. I went to pick up my son from school at 3.30 PM. To get to my son’s school, I have to pass a school area. As you know, the speed limit in that area is only 30 km/h. There was a car behind my car; I did not see the driver well this time, which follow my bumper so closely. Yeah… I bet all of us has experience this right? He really made me nervous because the distance between my bumper and his was maybe only 1 meter!

Since I know I did not do anything wrong and plus I know many times there is a policeman who stay and watch in the school’s parking lot area. I just kept my speed the same. Every time I check my mirror, that car is still so close to my car. The last time I check, the car was far behind my car. I check again and the car is still on the same spot since the last time I look. It turn out that the car was dead. Now the car that was so impatient to push me forward was being honked by 6 other cars! Now who’s nervous???

It’s entertaining when justice come so fast…. Or karma….It’s rare but when it does… savor it till the last drop….